For the fun of it

Sometimes a story come along that simply deserves a little levity.  It has nothing to do with politics or St. George.  Forgive me now, please.


I have seen a lot of interesting things at Church.

  • Children picking their noses.
  • Women picking lent of their Bishop’s suit.
  • Men walking across the chapel to pick a hymnal that wasn’t torn or written on.
  • Teenage boys trying to pickup girls.
  • Adults picking arguments in Gospel Doctrine class.

What I have never seen is a couple of guys picking fist fights in the parking lot.  I almost wish I lived in Plain City.

Yet, there it was this past Sunday, two guys in the Meadows Ward in Plain City sharing a knuckle sandwich, rather than sharing their testimonies.  Who knows, maybe one was going to haul out his Stick of Judah to start whacking the other guy that was threatening him with the Stick of Joseph.

All of this was over “seat saving” in the Chapel.  The building was crowded.  There was a scheduled missionary farewell.  Perhaps the new Elder should have used the tried and true message from Ernest Hemingway, a Farewell To Arms.

Adding to the crowd were family members of a baby being blessed.  No better occasion in the Church than a baby blessing.  The injunction from the Savior was “suffer the little children to come unto me”.  It appears that sentiment was interpreted to mean “I’ll make somebody suffer.”

While the two gladiators were out in the parking lot throwing punches, not unlike early Christians being throw to the lions, several people were on their cellphones calling for the peacemakers to break-up the brawl.  Sadly, it was the police that showed up rather than the guys with the white jackets…because to everyone’s description this was a crazy scenario.

My father-in-law tells the story of the time he raced his motorcycle around and around the parking lot of the chapel…while his father, the Bishop, conducted the meeting.  I have to ask him if he ran over anyone in the process,…since that happened in Weber County also.

Me, if I had been there, I would have handles it differently.  Either someone was attempting to compel someone to be humble or to “confess his sin of seat-saving.  I would have quoted to them Matthew 5:41 “And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.”  I would have immediately regretted giving that advice, because one fine fellow drove over the other guy.  If I had shared that verse of scripture I am convinced the answer I would have received would have been “He compelled me to drag him a mile, so now I shall drag him twain”.  Oops, my bad!

All this happened over saving seats.  I believe when the smoke cleared the wives of both men pointed to where they were seated in the chapel and told reporters “Yes, this is where my ass sits every week…before going home to watch boxing on ESPN.”




One thought on “For the fun of it

  1. Great article Bill. Having a brawl at church was probably even enough to get everyone to put their smart phones down for a minute and pay attention to what’s going on 🙂

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